Oct
Yesterday I returned from office early. It was raining heavily and I was shivering with
cold. But early returning was not too early. I missed the bus so it was about 4pm when I returned home.
Bapi cooked hotchpotch. He was waiting for me, so to enjoy the meal together. Nevertheless I was little bit
angry with him. He waited that much time without eating. He says nothing will happen. I couldn’t find what
else could be done. We enjoyed the delicious meal.
Within an hour it became dark at outside. I was talking to bapi old day has returned. Definitely evening like
yesterday Ma would have wanted to eat some fried chips with hot tea. But not everything is same like the old ones.
We just short of one person in family. I grew old one more year so as bapi and definitely my brother too. Else nothing have changed. What I’ve done in the past one year. Nothing, nothing that could feel Ma proud.
Same pushing against the hard wall, no work. I could feel sometime burning inside me. Wishing to cry.
Surprisingly there’s no tear any more. All dried up. Became paranoid.
I guess I would never feel happy nor sorrow in mylife. My expression will be simply eye wash to people.